Day 2 and here I Am already overwhelmed. Ha! This life that is me...for now.
No poem today as again, I am just starting to move on in here, there are many boxes to be unpacked. Please be patient.
You know, I should have realized something many years ago that while the depths of darkness can overwhelm the best of us and sicken our core, the light in us and the light that combusts throughout the world in response to such can very much an overwhelming force.
Of course this is true with any and everything as We Can Only Meet another at the place they are ready. I guess kind of think of it like batteries and you can only use certain ones as per us, we can take in the energy to help us when we connected in the right way with the right fit if that makes sense. I am still waking up, so forgive the forced flow here for a moment.
It is a little hard for me at this moment as I am too focused on being where I do not want to be which again goes against all I believe and know but it is there and it keeps knocking and well, it was all fun and games but has became quite the battle at times to not allow anything in. I know I have to shift away from what seems real here to bring in the better so I am moving along as best as I can.
Balance must be found, in any and everything and this is what I am in the process of making happen. Balance the good with the bad, the light with the dark and life will be pleasantly nice for the most part as long as we allow it to be and get there in the ways it can even if that is in the breaking apart of all that we think we have become.
I am listening to my tunes, attempting to up my vibe and it is steadily coming to, as I feel the blood rushing and getting high off the beats that bring me to a certain bliss even for just a moment. But I do my thing, and in the moment I find My Beat, My Song, I keep a certain tune on repeat as I write this out and it just keeps on pouring out and flooding the page in a beauty I had not seen just moments ago.
You know, I want to cave and drown in what most feel is real. I want to feel their pain and emphasize that this world is not one we know, that we have been robbed, and remain only to be defeated.
I want to cry and fall to tears and anger at God who has been said to have allowed this all. But I know better, I do. Even if just for my own world, my own moment in time, I know better what I need to do and I just have to do it no matter how much I want to give in with what many in the world have and just resist this calling in me .
I DID NOT want to write again today. I had already called a time out, called a resting day from my previous, but here I AM. I turned this computer on and I opened my older writings to read and was far from inspired by anything that I had previous written as well, that was then and
THIS IS NOW, you know how the emotional thing can work in a moment on things! All in all I am not in the FEELIN great state, so I Am not feeling my writings. Much of like those who may read my stories here as You have to ready, able, and willing to dive in the waters with me but if not, you will not understand my message at all.
Dang. To think I have so much that flows out of me in any one moment and it can be so beautiful, it can be. But again, just like having your voice heard and you seen in the light you seek from any other, THEY have to be ready, able, and willing to see your light as well. I woke not ready today. I woke unable and definitely not willing to be here today nor ever really. Truly the same with life.
Life can be so beautiful and I love my kids and the pieces I have been blessed with but having been reminded, I must say it is at times hard to want to remain here.
I read and read, picked apart and read some more of all I have written.
I fell into a moment where I was covered in blinders and only seen the flaws through them all (we are our worst critics) . Though the flaws should matter not as I AM human too and part of what is our most beautiful pieces here in this reality is in that which is our flaws, our mistakes, in this moment they are just irking me you know.
There is a beauty to this all, this thing called life and I truly hope all find it somehow, in some way.
But today...i being honest, I woke with a darkness that seemed all too familiar. I had no hope to be here. I had no hope for any better moment, no today, no tomorrow, as I had checked out fully.
I STILL want to check out fully you know but I turned on my music with no expectation, just played a piece by Young the Giant called Cough Syrup and while I strummed the beat within myself slowly upping my vibe, I just started to write and for some reasons I just kept on writing and here is the result.
I was not even listening to the lyrics and just now went and read them fully only to realize that again I had been seen, I had been heard, and my answer came.
There is a purpose for me and there is a purpose to all of this that I am doing though it seems very little now and may always be. But even if this remains small, I have seen it work big in my own life, the power of shifting the darkest parts of who we are. I see it in my kids daily, the more smiles I see and the joy in their voices, their softening of hearts just to have this day to again breathe.
This song is such a melodic flood of light to me. To me it is saying that I have found the medicine through my writings maybe just for myself but maybe for the world. I may feel at times that I am losing more and more of my mind, but this heart it remains damn strong.
I have my own medicine within me and I see the results of sharing it with those in my world and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to splash some across this realm and spark it up as we need to burn out the dark and ignite the world in full. This light that we are, the light that awaits us in every depth, every crevice, every turn, every sad and angry moment...IT IS HERE AND IT IS NOW.
For us to believe otherwise only plays in part to the world they are wanting to enslave us all within.
They want to dim us, they want to strip us of all that we are. They want us to have no individual thought, no strum of any heart beat as (these are healing frequencies) all that is wanted by those who yearn to tear us down is within the pieces of beauty that we had created, we had come to find.
We have the ability to take our light and create miracles and create new and better worlds time and time again. We have the ability to connect and glow and live and not be overtaken by a darkness that for always will call and this angers them as bought and sold is all that they ever will be as that is who they are.
They only feel any kind of upliftment in controlling the light that we can share and well baby, there is no end to the light, only the ever-sparking and igniting that leads to further combustion.
We Are The Medicine this world needs and now.
I have one voice and I cannot guarantee for how long I will carry it on as per my past endings but I keep being called and I keep rising somehow. So take this moment and LISTEN please and RISE. In Your own way, rise.
We each have a piece in us that can wipe this planet clean of all this destruction and rid all the debris. There is no new var-iant of darkness here, there is only a new strain of light. This light that is me, this light that is you. We, yes, WE, (as I Am not here to do this alone) are here to SPARK the world and tear away all that attempts to rid this ever-healing, this ever-golden and loving light.
WE ARE MORE than powerful. WE ARE SHIELDED do you not know, HIS armour we wear and we need to start wearing it proudly.
Open that heart of yours and allow the light to speckle on through, allow it to to REMIND YOU.
Did you read the lyrics to this song that lit my flame today? Oh, My Wow! It is just amazing and we can each interpret all things in our own way but today this song came and pulled me out of my a** and allowed me to splash this wall with something, not with anything less than the light that I Am, the light that we ALL ARE.
Now...Find Your Song without even looking. It may not be a song specifically but do you not know that we are all energy, we are all a part of a never ending frequency and to share is to heighten this connection and raise our God Given abilities?
We are never without nor a glass half empty as we can FILL it all at any moment at any time. We just have to MOVE ourselves in some way and from one spark to another we will get there.
I want to say to reach out to God too but I will let you find your time and way there but do know I willl give my thanks Always to Him that Saved Me and Allowed Me Such Beauty to Continuously be found though I thought I had sabotaged it all the way out of me.
This Light is ever-a-part of Him For Always and what we have in us here are just mere fragments of all that we truly ARE. We must connect to in some way and activate them alive. They yearn to dance and sing and BE and experience This Life too.
Whew! Okay. Thankful I took a moment to just sit and hit play as I made it today and I hope you have been inspired as well to share the most intricate pieces of which you are.
Our World is Safe and Sound. Believe It. In some way come to Believe This.
As We have been Blessed with the Light that is the Medicine. His Light or rather Our Light (if that is easier on you) is the Cough Syrup that must go down. Aww...I love this and yes, I LOVE YOU.
It is in us all, not this illness, not this sickness, but the LIGHT that Heals and Shifts the word to the Beauty it Is and Can be.
We are not to fear death but too we are not to fear life.
Get Movin*Find Your Song.
Light Sparked Always,
Will be posting soon. At least this is the plan, so please bare with me. ;)